Back from Greece
Woohoo... home at long sweet last...
Just a note to say that I had a lot of time to think about Jin while I was away. The outcome? Hmm... seriously still indecisive.
Sure I missed him a lot, but my mind wandered off to bad stuff often... funny thing is, I don't think about the negative stuff that I don't like about him, but more towards the negative stuff that I imagine 'might' happen. And now that I think about it, I must really be a paranoid person thinking about stuff that could happen rather than stuff that is actually happening. In other words, there's really nothing to worry... is there?
Sometimes I'm really just not sure. On one hand I feel like I can devote everything to him, but occasionally, I have this feeling that I might just be risking everything and letting my heart get played with. It's still the same fear of one day realising that he may just be fooling around with me. Even when I tell myself that my decision was already made, that I would be willing to get played with, only coz it's been really great with him so far, and I have nothing to regret... I'm not sure if this decision would seem to be a logical one if my fears came through. But then again, giving up everything on the basis of my fear would seem even stupider... if there's such a word lol.
Ahh... my thoughts of him these days hadn't been all bad. There were a lot of good ones too... thoughts of how I'd love to be in his arms again after having been away for a week. I admit that I'm missing him terribly, and I wonder if I can cope with his leaving for Australia next week. Anyway, miss him or not, when I see him tomorrow, I'm still gonna play around with him /gg. Nothing too bad... just doing stupid things like not gonna kiss him when I see him, but instead, whisper to him how I'd kiss him if we were in his room. Lol... stupid's the right word, a lot of things I do seem really silly when I think about it, and it doesn't even suit my usual character, but it suits me in the sense that I occasionally do things like this just for the heck of it, although I can't usually play it through till the end becoz I'll laugh my way through it.
Just a note to say that I had a lot of time to think about Jin while I was away. The outcome? Hmm... seriously still indecisive.
Sure I missed him a lot, but my mind wandered off to bad stuff often... funny thing is, I don't think about the negative stuff that I don't like about him, but more towards the negative stuff that I imagine 'might' happen. And now that I think about it, I must really be a paranoid person thinking about stuff that could happen rather than stuff that is actually happening. In other words, there's really nothing to worry... is there?
Sometimes I'm really just not sure. On one hand I feel like I can devote everything to him, but occasionally, I have this feeling that I might just be risking everything and letting my heart get played with. It's still the same fear of one day realising that he may just be fooling around with me. Even when I tell myself that my decision was already made, that I would be willing to get played with, only coz it's been really great with him so far, and I have nothing to regret... I'm not sure if this decision would seem to be a logical one if my fears came through. But then again, giving up everything on the basis of my fear would seem even stupider... if there's such a word lol.
Ahh... my thoughts of him these days hadn't been all bad. There were a lot of good ones too... thoughts of how I'd love to be in his arms again after having been away for a week. I admit that I'm missing him terribly, and I wonder if I can cope with his leaving for Australia next week. Anyway, miss him or not, when I see him tomorrow, I'm still gonna play around with him /gg. Nothing too bad... just doing stupid things like not gonna kiss him when I see him, but instead, whisper to him how I'd kiss him if we were in his room. Lol... stupid's the right word, a lot of things I do seem really silly when I think about it, and it doesn't even suit my usual character, but it suits me in the sense that I occasionally do things like this just for the heck of it, although I can't usually play it through till the end becoz I'll laugh my way through it.
posted by Charelle at 10:25 AM
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